5.27.2004

i would like to see this...

Depp has been MacGowan's old mucker for a few years now, and a fan for even longer. Like many actors of his generation, he has a 'holiday' band (Pee, an outfit he occasionally fronts with Butthole Surfer Gibby Haynes). He hangs out with the Chili Peppers, with whom he made a ten-minute private movie called Stuff, which he says aims to "show the way certain substances take effect".

5.21.2004

Finally-something other than a stupid ass shitty poem..

So did you ever realize that thee word laptop backwards spells potpal. My laptop is quite often my potpal..not today. . Anyway while I'm on the subject of words-I love palindromes-I think the word palindrome should be an actual palindrome. Coincidentally I drive a palindrome...CIVIC. Enough about words...I will now use words to write about something else. So next weekend is my eleventh year high school reunion. We could be the only class to ever have an eleventh year reunion. We can't even have it to ourselves. It's going to be combined w/the class of 94'. Turns out our class president wasn't into organizing the usual/normal 10 year reunion so we didn't have one. someone else took on the duties and is making it happen this year. i wonder if the class president will show. At this point... I'm not sure if I will go or not... Should I? I'm hoping if I choose to attend a few things would/could/should/will happen: I'll fall in love and live happily ever after(you always hear/see those stories)or i'll leave there feeling much better about myself and my lack of achievements. I am looking forward to seeing one girl in particular...Penny..such a beautiful girl! smart too! Last time I saw(all of)her was in 95'...We had the best sex ever. It was one of those moments when I was thinking is this really happening? Totally unexpected...One of the greatest nights ever...ever. Thank you booze and nine-inch-nails(i want to feel from the inside out)...Thank you thank you very much. what will everyone look/act like? I want to see if all those girls/boys that thought they were hot shit then are now fat-bald-hairy-etc or maybe some of those that were not so hot...became gorgeous. I do know a few folks whom are in jail and a couple that are dead...So needless to say they will not be attending. For some odd reason I have recently started hating commas. I do however..Unlike most girls..Enjoy periods...(i say most because i'm sure some girl or girls out there just love getting her periods...i haven't checked yet... but they probably have websites dedicated to it) i guess period is not the correct word....better yet ellipses....they help me w/my inability to know when to end a sentence....

5.15.2004

do not trust

Rain on my parade know whey
the per raid is cancelled dew
two the over bearing folks
inn the front office knowing
watt is good fore them and
bad for thee rest of them

I remember when it was easy
the girls were sleazy and the
drinks were free to the first
few in the door locked tight
through out the night posted
on the wall no more non-cents

back up you fool stop pretending
you like the ending bending
two and four are even numbers
broken worn out in a slumber
we sail only the best lumber
wood would be gone if not for

a few or more a whore a bore
through like a term might
be over if it wasn't for
sure a miserable existence
on the floor of a prison
laughed at and slapped like the
horse on derby day poor thing

I fill sorry to the top overflowing
non-stop protruding in several different
directions erections for you one and
three are odd numbers struggling to
keep up with the rest I can't take it
anymore what is the difference what
is the truth tell us speak when spoken
two of them already for death

beneath us they spoke as they choked
on a cock a doodle do what the fuck
this is a zoo with problems not normal
not of this whirled planet humans are
animals we show it everyday survival of
the fittest does pertain to the guilty

yet still they survive behind guns and
camo and a altered mind nothing that
has not been done before except this time
it's on camera say cheese and ignore
the world is coming to an end lets just
hope it is televised so we can see our demise

steven is the #18 most common male name.
0.78% of men in the US are named steven.
Around 955500 US men are named steven!

holbrook is the #1396 most common last name.
0.009% of last names in the US are holbrook.
Around 22500 US last names are holbrook!


5.11.2004

More than 4 percent of young adults in the United States are infected with chlamydia, and the sexually transmitted disease is six times more common in blacks than in whites, researchers say. In a nationally representative study of 14,322 people ages 18 to 26 conducted in 2001-02, University of North Carolina researchers found that 4.7 percent of women and 3.6 percent of men had chlamydia.

random thought one

of course george w. is anti-abortion...
he wants more possible soldiers for his useless war.
he would probably turn pro-abortion if they
had a way of aborting all future gays.

5.06.2004

wading to dye

i seemed to make mistakes
all day liquid courage erased
the glass bottles bottom
captured the sun finally it
was over i was done

sleepy time came crept
a fat rat sipping milk
from the teat of a cat
boring poems for lousy
me trust in few it's free

never do you hear that
well once or twice not
this morning and not
last night the moon is
giant always the same
size somehow someway
it breaks the skies plain

i respect all dialect talk how
you speak and walk with
your feet hot on the pavement
the street has lines much
like blinds get off get on

everyone is gone you are
here all alone structure and
order are for choice noise
blatant bantering mostly
fighting and dyeing happening
now it will never stop no matter
how much they camouflaged it

The Panama Connection

A man, a plan, a canal - Panama!

A man, a plan, a cat, a canal - Panama!

A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal - Panama!

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros' rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal - Panama!

A man, a plan, a caret, a ban, a myriad, a sum, a lac, a liar, a hoop, a pint, a catalpa, a gas, an oil, a bird, a yell, a vat, a caw, a pax, a wag, a tax, a nay, a ram, a cap, a yam, a gay, a tsar, a wall, a car, a luger, a ward, a bin, a woman, a vassal, a wolf, a tuna, a nit, a pall, a fret, a watt, a bay, a daub, a tan, a cab, a datum, a gall, a hat, a fag, a zap, a say, a jaw, a lay, a wet, a gallop, a tug, a trot, a trap, a tram, a torr, a caper, a top, a tonk, a toll, a ball, a fair, a sax, a minim, a tenor, a bass, a passer, a capital, a rut, an amen, a ted, a cabal, a tang, a sun, an ass, a maw, a sag, a jam, a dam, a sub, a salt, an axon, a sail, an ad, a wadi, a radian, a room, a rood, a rip, a tad, a pariah, a revel, a reel, a reed, a pool, a plug, a pin, a peek, a parabola, a dog, a pat, a cud, a nu, a fan, a pal, a rum, a nod, an eta, a lag, an eel, a batik, a mug, a mot, a nap, a maxim, a mood, a leek, a grub, a gob, a gel, a drab, a citadel, a total, a cedar, a tap, a gag, a rat, a manor, a bar, a gal, a cola, a pap, a yaw, a tab, a raj, a gab, a nag, a pagan, a bag, a jar, a bat, a way, a papa, a local, a gar, a baron, a mat, a rag, a gap, a tar, a decal, a tot, a led, a tic, a bard, a leg, a bog, a burg, a keel, a doom, a mix, a map, an atom, a gum, a kit, a baleen, a gala, a ten, a don, a mural, a pan, a faun, a ducat, a pagoda, a lob, a rap, a keep, a nip, a gulp, a loop, a deer, a leer, a lever, a hair, a pad, a tapir, a door, a moor, an aid, a raid, a wad, an alias, an ox, an atlas, a bus, a madam, a jag, a saw, a mass, an anus, a gnat, a lab, a cadet, an em, a natural, a tip, a caress, a pass, a baronet, a minimax, a sari, a fall, a ballot, a knot, a pot, a rep, a carrot, a mart, a part, a tort, a gut, a poll, a gateway, a law, a jay, a sap, a zag, a fat, a hall, a gamut, a dab, a can, a tabu, a day, a batt, a waterfall, a patina, a nut, a flow, a lass, a van, a mow, a nib, a draw, a regular, a call, a war, a stay, a gam, a yap, a cam, a ray, an ax, a tag, a wax, a paw, a cat, a valley, a drib, a lion, a saga, a plat, a catnip, a pooh, a rail, a calamus, a dairyman, a bater, a canal - Panama!

[Note: this impressive 543-word palindrome was created in 1984 by Dan Hoey with help of a computer program he wrote.]

5.04.2004

The Thermodynamics of Hell:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the Professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law which states that gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then No. 2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. The student received the only "A".

5.01.2004

SHE

Nothing could/can hold
back the feelings I feel
for her I don't know her
however she is there
waiting unaware that I
will be the next one to
enter her mind and body

it used to happen fairly
often I worked hard though
perhaps I need to try harder
be patient they say I say
hurry the fuck up and get
here soon..Before I blow up