11.10.2004

my muse

GOLD mostly to be left wanting... we get left here supposedly alive... squirming and fully exposed in the fluids given... i can understand when you turn your eye... no one is ever gonna see the truth... fuck all if we just don't want to get on... take what we have to until it chokes us.... believe!!! if there is still enough of that left to go around... see the purity that holds everything.... choke quietly in her presence... joke loudly that you are still intact.... free from anything like the idea of she... christ is here to say it is so... staring at the same stupid question as me... making up the same mistakes... all that beauty is enough.... for once i can shut up... smile quiet without explaining.... what allows me to stay... MUSE could i even realize??? mostly i don't ever try...leave it left over for this alone....taking the shallow breath that gets left behind... satisfied with what saves me... retiring from all those daylights.... removing myself from any focus.... getting close as i can to the things that twist me up.... refusing to ignore it for once.... this being like everything else is not.... a moment i can't save or appreciate....insist on being implored.... some more shit i shan't say... while being afraid still counts.... because that still does.... as much as anything... least round here it does.... makes up the most of what is left... buys up the rest of my time... takes all of this guessing away.... brings new greater reservations.... leaves me half of a whole.... wishing for a home... by: J.CLAYTON.V

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